She outright told me on the phone one day that she doesn't deal with behavior, that she is only there to teach and that maybe I should talk to the school counselor about positive behavior plans. One phone conversation ended with the agreement that she would send weekly updates home about how he was doing.

That never happened. She only seems to call when there is a problem and never discusses how he is doing in class academically. I feel that my son has been made the problem child of the class and everything is blamed on him.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this teacher?

Answer: It sounds like you have tried some strategies to address the situation that haven't solved the problem thus far. Your idea of sending home weekly updates was an excellent one.

The Center for Effective Parenting provides great information on communicating with a teacher. This link is a PDF file, which requires Adobe Acrobat Reader. You can download it for free if you click here. You will note in this resource there is an example of a daily report system. One idea is to provide the teacher with a tool for communicating with you in a format such as this.

Another thought is provided in this Internet resource that reminds us that we are the best advocates for our children . This site provides guidelines for steering the conversations with teachers in a positive non-threatening manner and focusing on the child rather than any possible teacher shortcomings.

If these strategies do not work I would ask for the assistance of a student services professional (school counselor, school social worker, or school psychologist). A student services professional will be able to observe your son in the classroom and assess if there is a behavior issue or if the teacher's classroom management is at the root of the problem. She could also ward off unnecessary phone calls by further defining the problem (gathering information from you, your son and the teacher), setting up a plan to address the situation, and assisting with follow-through on the strategies developed to address the issue (whether it lies with your son or in the classroom environment). The student services professional could also support the teacher with strategies to promote positive behaviors in class for all students.

What you may discover is that you are not the only parent receiving phone calls.

Dr. Michelle Alvarez is an adjunct professor at the University of Southern Indiana and project director of Safe Schools/Healthy Students for the Evansville-Vanderburgh School Corporation. She is the a co-editor of School Social Work: Theory to Practice, chair of the National Association of Social Workers, School Social Work Section and a former school social worker. She is also the parent of a special-needs child.

Advice from our experts is not a substitute for medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified health-care provider familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's medical or emotional condition.

February 2007